Does your Friday need a little kick in the trousers? Still not pumped for a big weekend of overeating and watching commercials? Well, take a minute and listen to Hennessey Performance’s first 2016 HPE800 Cadillac Escalade take rips on the dyno, howling like something out of Cole Trickle’s wet dreams.
According to Hennessey’s website, the HPE800 package for the Escalade cranks the massive SUV up to 805 horsepower at 6,000 rpm and 827 pound-feet at 3,800 revs. After parasitic and drivetrain losses, that translates to 611 hp and 683 lb.–ft. at the wheels. Which seems like a lot, until you realize it’s a freakin’ 4WD Escalade. According to Hennessey, that’s still enough power to get to 60 mph in 4.1 seconds, en route to 12.2-second quarter-mile with a 110 mph trap speed. That’s basically neck-and-neck with the C7 Corvette Stingray on both counts.
The list of upgrades required to accelerate three tons of brick-like Caddy is long, but the engine is particularly impressive. That’d be a 416 cid stroker V8, balanced and blueprinted with all forged internals, crowned by CNC’d heads and a gnarly cam. There’s a 2.9-liter supercharger jamming air down its trachea, plus the necessary supporting cast, like a heavy-duty cooling system and requisite exhaust work. (You can read the whole list here, if you’re already mentally checked out for the day.)