The use of cartoonish situations in ads is no new phenomena. You don't use standard pickup trucks to tow airliners, and you can't outrun a jet fighter with a turbocharged car, no matter what The Fast and the Furious shows, and you won't see Real People™ mistake Chevys for cars further upmarket. Subaru has been known for decades for its strange ads, which have recently gone in the direction of driving dogs. Now, it's decided that the best way to sell their WRX sports sedan to those digital Millennials is by replicating a nightmare of a Mario Kart track on which to test its car.
Today's installment of automotive tests that we can't imagine becoming industry standards comes courtesy of Subaru Canada, who decided the best way to show off acceleration in slippery conditions was to use everyone's favorite tired slapstick joke—the banana peel. Subaru laid down what appears to be enough banana peels to make Donkey Kong envious along a stretch of tarmac, which is later doused with water from a truck. Instead of slipping to the tune of a cliche sound effect, or spinning like in Mario Kart, the WRX handles the peels to little ill effect, managing to scramble its way to 60 in 6.1 seconds.
While we will admit that 6.1 seconds is a rapid 0-60 time in conditions as bad as these, we must advise that just having all-wheel drive is not all you need to get going in slippery road conditions. One of the most neglected factors in both acceleration and braking is choice of tire. Consumer Reports discovered that having the proper tires for the road condition, such as winter tires versus all seasons, can cut braking distances in half.
That said, we don't think that driving through fields of banana peels will be a common enough road condition to warrant the development of tires meant for these conditions. Unless you have a habit of narrowly avoiding accidents with trucks carrying fresh produce, we recommend swapping between summer and winter tires as seasons demand.