While the young Mario preferred a feathered, helmet-susceptible look, his son Michael boldly opted for a mid-part mullet. This style (and we use that term loosely) has not been worn to victory before or since Jonathan Taylor Thomas in Home Improvement., ISC Images & Archives/Getty ImagesDammit, Kyle. The evidence is somewhat hidden under a crisp ballcap, but let’s get real: This is a mullet, folks. With brim, eyes, and strong chin jutting in a show of determination, it’s up to the mullet’s backside ringlets to say, Hey, I’m a guy who also likes to have fun. Classy., Focus on Sport/Getty ImagesNASCAR is a family affair, and Kyle Petty is serving up some Sly Stone exuberance with these shoulder length locks. The combination of princess-quality tresses, chestnut mustache and a heavily-patched Nomex racing suit is one of NASCAR’s greater sins—or its salvation., ISC Images & Archives/Getty ImagesJames Hylton won the Winston Cup twice, and finished in the top five in over 140 races. His legacy is as solid and imperturbable as Virginia granite; his coiffure, as golden and ethereal as dreams. Stay beautiful, poodle-head., ISC Archives/Getty ImagesWith nicknames like “Handsome Harry,” “High Groove Harry,” and “Mr. September,” Gant’s personal style had never gone unremarked. Look at that magnificent thing on his head, voluptuous as Jayne Mansfield and a shade of brown richer than aged mahogany. Ron Burgundy parodied Seventies indulgence. Harry Gant lived it., ISC Archives/Getty ImagesStott won the ARCA stock car series twice, but his greatest victory here is a grand fusion of Dracula and Ringo Starr haircuts. It is a pointed mop, a scalloped bowl-cut, and a victory for mankind. Or, elfinkind, as the case may be., ISC Images & Archives/Getty ImagesHe raced IndyCar and Formula 1 for years, but, these days, Derek Daly is best known as a thoughtful NASCAR commentator and analyst. So, the play-by-play: Bangs (!) go right, the sides go back, and everything finishes with a flourish at the neck. It’s a close race, but looks like the power of Eighties fashion overtook Daly’s good sense., ISC Images & Archives/Getty ImagesHe is Jeff Gordon. A legend, an industry, and a family man. His skills are the envy of every driver. His jaw is so square, NASA uses it to calibrate launch trajectories. Yet, it is time to declare: The Emperor is wearing no clothes. Or, at least, he was not in 1990, when he undermined great talent with a cornea-pitting mullet, then accentuated the alien shape of his follicles with goggles., Bob Harmeyer/Archive Photos/Getty Images