We Found It: The Worst-Smelling Chevy Cavalier on Earth
The chunky yellow coating found throughout this “smoking lounge” isn’t throw-up, it’s years of built-on tar.
Ever see something so gross that you can smell it through the screen? You take one look and you immediately start scrubbing your computer with Lysol wipes, spray every corner of the room with air freshener, and light an entire altar of scented candles in hopes that a higher power will intervene and scrub the image from your mind?
Behold! The grossest junkyard car we've ever seen.
Don Homme must have drawn the short straw when he was sent to pick up the Chevrolet Cavalier LS that he posted to Facebook's Junkyard Finds group. From the outside, it looks like any old and grungy Cavalier you'd find at the junkyard, complete with paint that's seen better days. It's a nicer trim with the better alloy wheels, but that's about it.
Open the door and—wait, no. You don't want to open the door. Take it from Homme, who had the misfortune of doing just that:
This is honestly one of the most disgusting cars I've ever picked up and I've had to chase animals out of cars. The guy used it as a smoking lounge in his garage for five years and had a two-pack a day habit. The yellow tint you see inside the car is tar buildup on the inside of the windows if you get within 5 feet of it you smell an ashtray.
Somehow the blade sticking out of the steering column is the least unsettling part of this car.
The thick amber coating on the glass is crusted-on tar from the cigarettes. You couldn't even see out of this car unless you took a scraper and/or some kind of heavy-duty industrial cleaner to the windows. That tar oozed down onto the driver's door panel, which looks like someone threw up on it. The driver's seat and center console are covered with a mountain of ashes. Empty cigarette packages and cigarette butts are everywhere.
There's even some empty food packaging that's been in there to fossilize for who knows how long. The level of squalor is like nothing I've ever seen before.
You could, in theory, pick up a sweet period-correct boombox from this turn-of-the-millennium compact Chevy, but trust us, you wouldn't want that, either.
"[T]hat boombox probably has a smoker's cough," Homme replied.
You might be able to pluck some engine parts that you could blast with parts cleaner to exorcise those demons, but the fact that even the white dealership decal on the outside is beige doesn't really motivate us. The interior needs a biohazard sticker.
No little baggies of strategically placed orange peels, Ozium, prayers to a clean person or holy water could save it now. When you know the smoke smell has penetrated every ounce of foam, carpet, and plastic inside the car, not even the best detailers in the world could save it without completely gutting the interior.
You can view Homme's full gallery on Facebook here, or you could send a disguised link to it in a message to a friend as you would with any other late nineties shock site. Your call!
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