Don't Sleep on the Artistic Brilliance of This Airbrushed 1994 Mazda MX-5 Miata

We see your howling wolf t-shirt, and raise you this.

miata tiger paint
Ebay

I think I'm a reasonable man. If I had the opportunity to buy a car, brand new, straight off the factory floor, I would probably go with a cool color. That's not unreasonable, right? I'm skipping straight past the blacks, whites, and greys—show me the greens, the yellows, and the purples. For some people, though, the manufacturer's palette isn't enough. Also, you can't get all your favorite big cats airbrushed on the hood in a full-car mural that'll make men weep.

This is a big problem, but thankfully, (you can thank me in the comments) I've found the perfect car to solve this problem for only $8,000. I hope you like the 1994 Mazda MX-5 Miata, tigers and the planet Mars.

For one reason or another, the outside of this car is airbrushed like...I'm honestly not sure how to put this into words. Or where it even starts. A tiger skulks along a stream in a darkened forest on the passenger side. An elemental blue force wraps around the hood, where there's a child on a cliff's edge, overlooking a ruined plain with giant tigers and bobcats forming in the sky. The driver's side is a giant close-up of a tiger's eyes. The trunk is stone of some kind, I think?

I really just...don't know what they were going for, other than being as bitchin' as possible.

Let's discuss something we do understand. That's where we should've started, right? Mechanically this Miata is bone stock. According to the VIN, this car has the 1.8 liter, four-cylinder engine producing 129 horsepower. Not exactly a performance machine, but at least it's a stick. It also has a bunch of brand new parts, including a timing belt, thermostat, water pump, and radiator. The seller does not indicate the actual mileage on the car, just the mileage since its "restoration", which is at a paltry 200.

It also has four fresh tires, a new amp and six-speaker sound system, aftermarket wheels and a new alarm system to protect it all Speaking of the interior, it's almost entirely stock besides the shift knob, which is a yellow plastic cobra. I'm sorry, were you expecting convention?

Ebay

If the seats look awfully clean, that's because they're new as well.

I just want to examine some of the airbrushed exterior one more time. The seller states the custom paint job took 650 hours to complete, so we can spare a few seconds doing some artistic analysis. I got as far as Art History II, so trust me, I'm qualified.

Ebay

So I'm not sure what the significance of the kid in the bottom left-hand corner is. He or she—that haircut could go either way—is waving to the pack of five big cats who seem to be pretty biodiverse. Looks like a bobcat, a tiger, maybe a few of those other ones are supposed to be lions. I'm not certain.

This honestly seems pretty allegorical. If you look on the left there's some sort of God's rays thing going on, and there are also doves. See, the doves are the giveaway for this allegorical stuff—I remember that from class. What I'm not so sure about is the Martian landscape. The only reason I say Martian is because the seller says that it's Mars-related in the description, otherwise, I would guess this was set in like the Grand Canyon or something. Maybe it is. Who knows?

While I'm not really certain what to make of this car—you know what? How do I end this? Who is going to buy this? Am I supposed to tell you that, I don't know, at least it has the big engine? The milage is pretty much unknown, the parts replacement seems pretty consistent with the car being fatally overheated once upon a time, and it's covered in airbrushed tigers. At $8,000, It's a steal for the 650 hours of labor that was apparently put into this thing, but still. Is it worth $8,000 to buy this car as a joke?

And yes, in case you were wondering, the entire Ebay ad is in Comic Sans.

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