He should have turned left—but wound up going all righty, then. A Nebraska man charged with DUI after plowing his Buick into a tree and a wall told responding officers that he'd crashed because, in his own words, he was forced to drive "like Ace Ventura" with his head out the window in the rain because his windshield wipers didn't work.
According to police documents obtained by The Smoking Gun, on December 1st, 2018, 26-year-old Rocky Dumais was driving his 2005 Buick Rendezvous along Lincoln, Nebraska's South Cotner Boulevard at around 1 o'clock in the morning when, instead of following the curve to the left, he drove straight on, bounding over the curb and plowing into—then uprooting—a tree in an adjacent front yard, before coming to a stop against a retaining wall.
The Lincoln Police Department responded within three minutes, according to police; while Dumais had left the scene of the accident, the police quickly thereafter took him into custody. According to the report, Dumais told officers he'd crashed his Buick because his windshield wipers weren't up to the task of keeping the windscreen clear, forcing him to drive with his head out the window in the manner made famous by Miami's number one pet detective.
Testing revealed Dumais to have a blood alcohol content of 0.137.
While Dumais was uninjured, according to police, his Buick was heavily damaged in the accident. The damage to the tree and retaining wall was valued at approximately $500, which, as an aside, makes us at The Drive wonder what sort of papier-mâché they build walls out of in Lincoln, Nebraska.
Dumais was charged with driving under the influence, possession of drug paraphernalia, leaving the scene of an accident, and driving with a suspended license. It remains to be seen whether Dumais will be able to fit into a parking spot like a glove at his court date.