The sun is shining, the weather is warm, and the summer of Florida Man continues unabated. Deputies with the Marion County Sheriff’s Office arrested the driver of a little red Corvette in Ocala, Florida last weekend after he was reportedly seen driving at 100 mph on surface streets, but at least it was easy this time: The driver promptly told them he didn’t have a driver’s license, he had just taken Percocet and used cocaine, marijuana, and heroin, and he had fake tags on the car to boot.
According to the Villages News, a concerned motorist called police on Sunday evening after seeing 54-year-old David Whitlow speeding and weaving in and out of traffic. Deputies soon spotted the red Corvette and initiated a traffic stop, at which point Whitlow was reportedly slow to react to the emergency lights and struck the curb when he tried to pull over.
Then came the truth vomit. His first words to the officers reportedly were “I don’t have one,” referring to a driver’s license, and he told them he had placed fake license plates on the Corvette because the police had confiscated his real tags after a previous conviction for driving on a suspended license. He then reportedly asked about calling a bail bond service and failed a sobriety test.
Just for good measure, the deputies watched a baggie of marijuana and cocaine fall out of his shorts while they were putting him in the back of the patrol car, and a crack pipe was later found in his pocket at the jail, according to Ocala.com. But just look at that mug shot: Florida Man ain’t care.