Half-Nude Florida Man Wearing Underwear Marked “Breathalyzer, Blow Here” Arrested for DUI

He also had condoms strewn throughout the vehicle…and binoculars on the passenger’s seat.

byWill Sabel Courtney|

You stay classy, Florida Man. On April 12th, a police officer in Port St. Lucie, Florida, wound up eying more than he bargained for after pulled over an erratically-driven pickup truck...only to find the half-naked driver surrounded by sex paraphernalia and clad in underwear marked "Breathalyzer," with the phrase "Blow Me" near his genitals. 

According to the police report, recovered by The Smoking Gun St. Lucie County Sheriff's Department officer Laine Drawdy noticed a dark-colored Dodge truck wandering across the lanes of U.S. Highway 1 at around 3:10am, prompting Drawdy to flip on his patrol car's lights and attempt to stop the truck over. The Dodge did indeed begin to slow to a near-stop, according to the report—but only long enough for the driver to open the door and lob an unidentified black object out of the vehicle before speeding up again. (The object was never recovered, in spite of a search attempt.) One block later, the Dodge's driver brought the truck to a stop in front of a Best Western, at which point Drawdy ordered the driver out of the vehicle and placed him in handcuffs, the report states.

It was then, according to the report, that Drawdy noticed the man—soon to be ID'ed as 54-year-old Daryle Campbell of Fort Pierce, Florida—was not only barefoot, but wearing nothing but a shirt and the aforementioned novelty underoos. While Campbell claimed he had just woken up and was on his way to help a friend fix a flat tire, Deputy Drawdy noticed that the middle-aged man not only had dilated pupils and a jittery demeanor, but also boasted the sort of well-combed, gelled head of hair not often found on the recently-awakened. Believing Campbell might be under the influence, Drawdy asked the man if he would perform a field sobriety test; according to the deputy's report, Campbell laughed and refused, claiming he had gout. He then refused to let the deputy examine him further for evidence of impairment, prompting Drawdy to arrest him on a charge of driving under the influence

Which is when the traffic stop took the next hard right turn away from the norm.  Upon locking Campbell in his patrol car and commencing a search of the Dodge, the report states Drawdy stumbled upon when he described in his official report as a quote-unquote "penis ring" under Campbell's wallet on the truck's center console, as well as a handful of (hopefully unused) condoms strewn throughout the vehicle and—perhaps most creepily—a pair of binoculars on the passenger's seat. A bag of white powder was also found in the center console, but (somewhat surprisingly) the police report says it tested negative for drugs. 

Campbell—who reportedly asked Drawdy what he could do to "make this go away" when the deputy returned to the patrol car, then immediately refused to provide a urine sample and resisted Drawdy's further attempts to be evaluated for drug use—was discovered to have two previous DUI convictions, as well as a previous instance of being unwilling to provide a blood or urine sample or submit to a Breathalyzer. (According to TSG, he also has past convictions for cocaine possession and carrying a concealed weapon, as well.)

He was ultimately cited on counts of his third DUI within a decade, as well as refusing to consent. "General weirdness," however, remains quite legal in Florida