Those of us old enough to remember mixtapes hear the words “smashing pumpkins” and think of a rock band, but folks in Damariscotta, Maine take it much more literally. This small town has made destroying giant pumpkins an annual tradition, and this year they crushed a Mercury Sable as part of their festivities.
Held about an hour north of Portland, the Damariscotta Pumpkinfest & Regatta celebrates every aspect of the giant pumpkin, including its underrated ability to flatten a car when dropped from a crane. While the festival has been held annually for 17 years, the pumpkin drop went away after the start of the pandemic and didn’t come back until this year. The organizers selected a particularly huge pumpkin to celebrate its return.
In this duel, Player One is a pumpkin that weighs roughly 1,000 pounds, that a crane operator lifts about 200 feet off the ground. Player Two is a fifth-generation Mercury Sable, a short-lived sedan that started life as the Montego before Ford quietly changed its name. We don’t know where it came from, but it was assuredly headed to the junkyard one way or another. At least this way it’ll go out with a smash.
Three, two, one… fight! While the 3,643-pound Mercury has a weight advantage, the pumpkin has gravity working in its favor, which counts for a lot. It falls directly on the Sable, crushing the roof panel, buckling the rear doors, and bending the A-pillars at an angle more commonly seen on supercars than humble, family-friendly sedans. On the flip side, the pumpkin isn’t exactly screaming “Is that all you got?” Its guts splatter in and around the car as it cracks.
We’ll call this one a draw, then. Let’s see what Damariscotta brings to the duel next year.
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