I don’t care how old you are or your background: tanks are cool. Know what’s even cooler? Driving one and demolishing things. Or does that make it coolest? Either way, you know you’re intrigued by it, so why not gift yourself or someone as maddeningly adventurous as you (this is me raising my hand) a five-star rank for a day?
Moments of zen have to almost always be planned. Especially during the chaotic stress eating that is the holiday season, sometimes those quiet times are difficult to come by. So, pivot and break stuff instead. Since 2006, Drive a Tank has been providing people the opportunity to go joyriding in a tank and not get in trouble for it.
And, yes, destruction can be involved. But unlike a wreck room where having something to a sledgehammer is the only reason you’re there, the main appeal of Drive a Tank is, well, driving the tank. Everything else is the cherry on top. Or, more accurately, the cherry crushed underneath.
Located about 75 miles southwest of Minneapolis in Kasota, Minnesota, Drive a Tank offers packages that can be customized depending on the drive, ride, or shooting needs of the customer. For example, there are many civilians who visit to celebrate a milestone like a birthday, graduation, wedding, or just happy for the end of the week. But, according to the Drive a Tank FAQs, there are also veterans who “bring family members because they wanted to share their past military experience” with them.
The Drive a Tank armory is an expansive one with serious firepower that includes tanks and machine guns used by American, British, German, Russian, and other European forces during various eras of warfare. There are 12 armored vehicles listed on the website, which is said to be only a portion of the fleet. As for gunfire, the historic collection includes 23 submachine guns, 20 assault and battle rifles, 10 belt-fed guns, five light machine guns, seven semi-automatics, six bolt-action guns, and seven pistols. For now.
The drive packages start at $374 for 3-Star Lt. General command, which offers the ability to add on passengers and car crushing. The 4-Star General status starts at $649 and includes additional passengers as well as multiple tank drives and machine guns to shoot. Car crushing remains extra.
Promote yourself to the $2,599 5-Star Commander in Chief ranking, and you’re given the operation of a small fleet of tanks, access to half a dozen guns, and the keys to a car to obliterate. The Ultimate Package is another $1,700 but essentially doubles the toys and fun.
And if that’s still not enough to calm your inner chaos, fiiine, Drive a Tank will let you destroy a home. Not just with a tank but with some pre-plowing hand-to-wall combat. Anything left standing is also yours to take a bat to. You’ll have to call for pricing, but the best part is you’re not responsible for cleaning up your mess. How about that for a moment of zen?