Examining the garages of today’s entertainers and professional athletes, there seems to be an inverse relationship between fortune and good taste. While the Haves have always gone to extremes to flaunt their wealth before the Have-Nots, today, it's more important to upstage fellow famous folk. You want your Ferrari 458 to pop more than every other 458 at the Soho House valet, right? The ambient Hondas don't even register. Unfortunately, in the pursuit of customized-supercar supremacy, many misfire, veering from bold to garish. Below, eight such examples—Gird your retinae.
Cam Newton’s Chevrolet Silverado 1500
The Panther’s quarterback took a perfectly fine Chevy, then ruined it with 30-inch rims, matte blue paint and a glaring orange stripe. The color-way is in homage to his Auburn days and he calls the truck the “War Eagle,” the college’s rallying cry. Oh, right: he had that phrase painted on the door and illuminated inside the cab.
Justin Bieber’s Liberty Walk Ferrari 458
How much does it cost to turn a magnificent Italian stallion into, mi scuzi, stanced garbage? Exactly $30,510. That’s the price of the Liberty Walk body kit West Coast Customs bolted on less than two weeks after the teeny bopper purchased a pristine Ferrari 458. That fee includes a splitter, rear bumper, large GT-style wing, rear diffuser and the fender flares. The Ferrari needs none of that, of course, because it’s a goddamn Ferrari 458.
Marshawn Lynch’s Jeep Wrangler
Presumably, the Seattle Seahawks’ running back handed a Wrangler over to a Portland, OR garage and said, “How can we make this an eyesore?” They mused for a minute, then decided it should overflow with green accents, light bars and “Beast Mode” logos. At least they didn’t swap the off-road shoes for low-profile dubs? Lynch tried to auction it off for charity a few months back, setting the reserve at $90,000. It received zero bids.
Tyga’s Range Rovers
What’s the opposite of murdered-out? Frosted? Snowed-out? Blizzarded? Whatever nomenclature you prefer, Tyga did it to these Rovers. All white everything, right down to the exhaust tips. It’s an interesting look to say the least. Imagine how hard it must be to keep this duo clean?
Nicki Minaj’s Lamborghini Aventador
When the rapper decided her “Barbs” (as she calls her fans) wanted to dress like her, she launched an affordable clothing line at K-Mart. Nicki then showed up to the line’s debut in an unaffordable Lambo Aventador—a bright pink one, with matching pink Forgiato wheels. It’s unclear what’s more egregious: her fashion endeavors or this car’s paint job.
Yo Gotti’s Lamborghini Aventador, Aston Martin Rapide and Bentley Continental
When rapper Yo Gotti goes in on a color, he doesn’t hold back. Things get a little bonkers when his favorite shade is Tiffany Blue. He drenched his Aventador in the hue, added spots of it to his Rapide and dropped his Continental in a pool of the stuff. That Bentley also suffers from an abysmal body kit.
Guy Fieri’s Everything
Guy Fieri, the human equivalent of a sampler platter, owns a number of cars. He’s got a 1976 Jeep CJ-5, which he lifted and branded with purple flames, a 2011 Chevrolet Camaro SS, a 2007 Corvette, a 1969 Corvette and a 2006 Chevy Kodiak. All are yellow, likely in homage to the oil in the deep friers that made him rich. The only car to break the color scheme is a black 2007 Shelby Cobra, a gift from Carroll Shelby himself, whose hood Fieri eventually ruined with decals of a skull wearing a chef’s hat and a fish.
Top Gear fans will remember when Will.I.Am swung by to ramble about being into cars and technology, deeming himself qualified to fabricate a marque from scratch. The result of his efforts was a $700,000 vehicle, horrible in both appearance and name: IAMAUTO. Jalopnik quickly tore down his claim that the car was unique, instead declaring it a heavily modded DeLorean. Whatever it is, it’s a travesty.