When I was a kid, I wanted to work in a crash test facility when I grew up. Could there be a cooler job than purposefully destroying expensive things all day? At the time, I was dissuaded by adults pointing out that crash tests themselves are serious, scientific, and labor-intensive business. But this video from Switzerland's Dynamic Test Center showing the team strap in a series of Christmas toys for a 125 mph impact shows I gave up the dream far too soon.
Before you ask why, consider this—why not? If you had access to a high-speed crash rig, a series of unfeeling test subjects, and a slow motion camera, wouldn't you do the same thing? Chances are that Barbie convertible will never hit triple digit speeds under the ownership of a three-year-old, but even plastic dolls and action figures deserve to know the safety ratings of their toy cars.
Then again, they might be better off in the dark considering the horrific results. Unsurprising for an industry with a total disregard for IIHS guidelines, every single toy car—from Barbie's convertible to a model TVR to Santa on a motorcycle to a Lego Ferrari Enzo—explodes in a million plastic shards upon impact with the wall. And it's all set to a downbeat version of "Silent Night" on piano. How appropriately festive.
If you're willing to look beyond holiday-themed crash tests this month, the DTC's YouTube page is a gold mine of unusual subjects. We're particularly fond of their 125 mph test involving real cars (below), as well as a rollover test of a homemade VW Golf convertible, and a head-on test of the world's fastest shopping cart. Happy smashing season, everyone.