Tesla Cost-Cutting Measures so Hardcore Employees Are Bringing Toilet Paper From Home: Report

Tesla has gone from production hell to bathroom hell.

We knew Tesla was in for some intense cost-cutting measures after posting a $700 million loss last quarter, but employees told Electrek that the cuts include even the most basic office supply of all time: toilet paper. 

Tesla CEO Elon Musk sent an email to employees last week about the company’s new cost-saving program, wherein teams are expected to look at every expenditure possible, including “parts, salary, travel expenses, and rent,” as quoted by Electrek. The company’s new CFO Zach Kirkhorn must now review and sign off on every page regarding outgoing payments, and Musk himself vowed to review and sign every tenth page as a double-check on this work. Any expense deemed non-essential to the business of making and selling cars is under the microscope right now, and likely to be frozen. 

Cutting back on travel and extras makes sense for a cash-strapped company, but it seems as though they’re also taking a very “let them use back-issues of Cat Fancy” approach to employee hygiene. Electrek writes: 

Sources familiar with the matter told Electrek that teams at several Tesla facilities are going to some extremes in attempts to cut costs, including skipping on ordering office supplies – even toilet paper.

A source even said that some employees are bringing toilet paper from home to the office in an attempt to reduce their overhead.

I realize that this particular extreme measure probably makes things a little less awkward for the guy who brings in his own stash of multi-ply or wet wipes on a regular basis, but the needs of the many should outweigh the awkwardness of a few here. 

At some point, you’re going to run out of outdated suppliers’ catalogs to keep around as a backup, and then you’re getting into really dicey territory unless you’re prepared to install bidets. (Has anyone run the long-term costs of bidet ownership vs. restocking the toilet paper? Honest question—I’m curious now.)

Things tend to get itchy, rashy, and worse if you don’t keep your butt clean. For a company that really doesn’t like it when employees talk about working conditions that force them to take medical leave, not providing enough toilet paper is playing a dangerous, dangerous game. 

Of course, the company is also cutting costs elsewhere as well, such as in stipends given to employees for cell phone plans and the use of external detailing companies by Tesla stores. Electrek also notes that Tesla may set a new record for deliveries this quarter, too. So, there’s some hope that Bathroom Hell won’t last long. 

At any rate, the Great Cornholio would be extremely disappointed in this turn of events. Please give your workers TP for their bungholes, in the interest of public health. Thanks in advance.