In a testament to the power of the human spirit, a woman driving a Chrysler minivan painted to look like the Mystery Machine from Scooby-Doo has successfully evaded the police and is now on the lam. Absent lousy kids, she sure as hell got away with it. On Sunday, just before 4 p.m., Sharon Kay Turman was stopped by police officers for a violation of her probation. She sped away from the stop, then proceeded to take the police on a long and reckless chase, swiping several cars at an intersection and, at times, exceeding 100 mph on the freeway. At some point along Buenaventura Blvd., the CHP helicopter lost sight of the brightly-painted vehicle. Later, Turman's abandoned Mystery Machine was spotted in the northwestern part of California's Tehama County.
At this point, Turman is still missing and wanted by the Redding police. Efforts to find her have as yet been unsuccessful. Might we suggest enlisting the aid of four amateur detectives, possibly a brain, a beauty, a male bimbo, a scaredy-cat and scaredy-dog? The van has been found. Any sightings of a woman in a ghoul mask running through a haunted house whose portraits sport moving eyes should be reported to the Redding Police Department at (530) 225-4200 or Secret Witness of Shasta County at (530) 243-2319.