Formula Sushi Racing Is What the Internet Was Like in 2002
AND THE BIGFIN REEF SQUID HAS A DRAFT GOING ON THE TUNA NIGIRI! CAN HE MAKE THE PASS STICK?
There's a dusty corner of my brain that lights up only when I see the most incomprehensible stuff the internet can deliver. Sites like AlbinoBlackSheep and Rathergood made that place a rave in the early 2000s, with the most confounding things seven-year-old me had ever seen. And this morning, for the first time in what feels like aeons, a field of sushi plates racing around Suzuka took me back to that place of blissful bewilderment.
I can tell you what Formula Sushi is, but I can't tell you why it exists. A YouTuber with a penchant for trains and strange 3D animation decided that "the sushi on the conveyor belt lacks a sense of speed," and that what the kaiten-zushi experience really needed was the full Formula 1 broadcast treatment. Imagine one of F1's sprint races, but instead of cars representing Saudi royalty and gambling sites, the race was just between plates of raw seafood rested on rice. And instead of a track, they were racing around the counters of an escherian restaurant. (Hey, band name idea.)
At first, I thought I was watching one of those bizarre iRacing mods like when people race cats. The exhaust even sounds just like second-rate video game sound modeling. But it seems the race may be entirely pre-rendered, which would explain why the lighting is so good. So, no chance of downloading Sushi-zuka for your next league racing night. Not yet, anyway.
Again, while I can tell you how this video came to exist, I'm having the damnedest time figuring out why. Someone had this idea, and then put a lot of effort into making it real. Someone really, really wanted to see a plate of Atlantic salmon nigiri pass some tuna on the inside of 130R—sorry for the spoiler. But I've always been drawn to things I don't understand, and Formula Sushi is beyond my comprehension. And I have nothing but admiration for the kind of person who puts their time into a project this weird in 2024, rather than phoning it in with some AI image prompt.
(Also, if Atlantic salmon keeps its game up, it'll be driving for Red Bull next year at this rate.)
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