No good deed goes unpunished. When the 24-year-old owner of a late-model Mitsubishi Lancer wisely elected to leave his car parked after drinking at a bar in Hamburg, N.Y., the universe decided to show just how much it doesn't care. Instead of returning to find his sedan blissfully free of parking tickets, he found an ice cube with a spoiler. Freezing waves from Lake Erie had frozen the Lancer completely solid inside a casing of lake ice.
This ain't your scrape-it-off-with-a-credit-card ice. Think more Mr. Freeze, parking attendant. The Lancer's basic shape can still be seen, but blowing water off of Lake Erie has frozen in a heavy layer, totally encasing the car in a prison of ice several feet thick. Further complicating matters, the Lancer's sitting in a pool of ice that's frozen the body right to the ground.
Oh come on, Mama Nature, let it go. But no, instead of a coming warmth from a few rays of sunshine, the shore is about to get pounded by even more bad weather. Lake-effect snow, a bizarre phenomenon mixing a cold front with moisture-dense warm air, usually results in a tremendous dump of the white stuff, further burying the carsicle in a white blanket. He might not get the thing out until April. Oh, and a lightning-heavy thunderstorm is expected, too.
Fine, universe we get it. You want us to stay inside and play more Forza while sipping on a White Russian. Suits us just fine—but maybe next time you don't need to hint quite so firmly.