Is Kanye West Trying to Kill Another Maybach?
It sounds like it, from the noise the thing is making.
Kanye West is many things. A diminutive rapper with an oversized ego. A husband to a talentless woman whose propulsion to fame was a sex tape. A fashion designer with an odd aesthetic that can only be described as dystopian chic. Owner of many luxurious and exotic supercars that he apparently has no clue how to drive. Case in point: his Mercedes-Benz S600 Maybach that he's been trying to murder since right after purchasing it earlier this year.
Perhaps it's simply too much car for dear Yeezy, both in power and sheer size. That 6.0-liter twin-turbo V12 cranks out more than 520 horsepower and 612 lb-ft of torque, which is capable of getting the 5,400-pound car screaming to 60 in five seconds flat. Given that it's 18-feet long, that's a ton (well, nearly three tons) of quickly-moving steel. That might explain why it took West less than a month to scrape the shit out of the rear door, quarter panel and rim.
Crying emoji, indeed, Kanye. Sure, the damage is relatively minor, but on a car with a $200,000 sticker, that can't be a cheap fix. Hopefully his wife and/or the herd of E! cameras that are contractually mandated to orbit his family were there to console him. Or maybe he just sat in the back of the luxe land yacht, enjoyed that extra 7.9 inches of legroom and activated the "hot stone" massage feature while weeping into a crystal flute brimming with Cristal.
Fast forward to last week, when a herd of paps caught West leaving somewhere. The notoriously confrontational rapper managed to flash transform his perma-frown into a toothy grin as he climbed into the Maybach. Then he tries to fire it up. It grinds and sputters and that V12 fails to turn over, while the camera kindly zooms in to catch West's smile fall. He gets it on the second try (and seems to exhale like he's thankful the thing didn't completely die in front of the cameras?) but what the hell is happening here? If his Maybach is less than six months old, it should still run flawlessly. West must be beating on it pretty hard if he's already running into issues, particularly getting the thing started.