The Old Man and the V: ‘I was all giggly, until I threw up.’

‘V’ as in ‘victory,’ as John Force’s losing streak comes to an end.

bySteve Cole Smith|
The Old Man and the V: ‘I was all giggly, until I threw up.’

We’re now taking your suggestions for more seemingly washed-up race car drivers to write about, because for the second straight time – the first being NASCAR racer Tony Stewart – we dissect their lengthy dry streaks, and before you know it, they win again.

This time it’s NHRA legend John Force, the winningest Funny Car driver ever, who this season has been not only incapable of winning, but of even making it to final rounds. Then today, at the Mopar Mile High Nationals at Bandimere Speedway in Denver, Force pulls a 319.45 mph rabbit out of his hat, defeating his daughter Courtney, who “only” ran 314.75. Courtney had a quicker run, at 3.963 seconds compared the old man’s 3.965, but it wasn’t enough, thanks to dad's hole shot.

“I needed this real bad,” Force said. “I told Courtney I love her, but I am giving this everything I’ve got.” It was his first win since June of 2015. At 67, the 16-time world champion becomes the oldest driver in NHRA history to win a Funny Car race.

For 29 straight years, Force has now won at least one national race each season, a record for all motorsports series. All three John Force Racing Funny Car drivers now have a victory this season, and Brittany Force has two Top Fuel wins.

John Force Racing has never recovered from the one-two punch a few seasons ago of not only losing longtime sponsor Castrol, but losing Ford, when the manufacturer pulled out of drag racing completely. He has filled the void with sponsors like Peak antifreeze, and a partnership with Chevrolet, but it’s still believed the team’s budget is well below what it used to be.

By the way, Tony Schumacher won in Top Fuel, Alan Johnson in Pro Stock, and Andrew Hines in Pro Stock Motorcycle.

Finally, let’s enjoy some more John Force oughta-be-patented post-race quotes.

"I didn't have a monkey on my back, it was a gorilla."

“I was all giggly until I threw up.”

On the drought: “Chevrolet is like, ‘is there something wrong with our car ’?  I told them ‘no, it’s me, I’m screwed up.’ We went and tested to figure out why.”

On his plan to race five more years: “I don’t have anywhere to go. I could go fishing with (Don) Schumacher, but he would use me for bait.”

Channeling Donald Trump: “We will make racing in the NHRA great again.”