Get Out and Slide Right Now

The snowy/dark/deep woods deserve your amateur rallying attempts.

byBen Keeshin|
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Get out and slide, because it’s snow season, folks. As of this week, huge swathes of the East Coast went from experiencing an eery, semi-permanent Indian Summer to snowbound Arctic research-station conditions. Streets that were lined with late-model Hondas and Chevys now sport models like the 2007 Slushpile LX and the 2004 Snowhump Sportline. Travel times and whiskey consumption are way, way up; salt and boots are on the ground. Driving, should you find your car beneath the snow, is difficult. At least, in cities.

So, get out. Take your cue from the Finnish rally driver Juho Hanninen and his Ford Focus RS in France. Steer your sled toward the woods. While the city is all narrowed byways, gravel-slush and surprisingly menacing garbage trucks with snowplows affixed to their fronts, the woods are snowy and quiet! Disturb that quiet, again, like Juho, in something with snow-tires. The world is your rally stage, and your sad commuter is suddenly a savage race car. Pull the handbrake and swing the rear around; find out exactly when your ABS engages. If possible, find a crowd of hundreds to spectate your shenanigans, like Juho does. Learn to love opposite lock, like Juho does. Be safe, and cautious, because ultimately, you are not like Juho in the skills and coordination departments; still, seize his spirit. WWJD? Juho would slide until the tank was dry.

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