Incompetent Wheel Thieves Nabbed Minutes After Hitting Dealership
A masterwork of CCTV cinematography.
It's always satisfying to see someone deserving choke down a healthy dose of instant karma. And it's extra satisfying to watch the whole thing go down in super high definition, like this seven minute opus showing the downfall of a couple would-be wheel thieves at a Chevrolet dealership recently—all filmed on an advanced, remote-operated security camera.
The video opens just after midnight on a decently well-lit parking lot full of new Chevy models. You can see a red Pontiac Trans Sport minivan casing the joint, eventually backing into an empty space at the edge of the lot next to a Suburban around 0:50. If you look closely, you can see the thief riding shotgun already has a regretful look on his face, as if he knows this isn't going to end well.
At 1:46, the video jumps ahead ten minutes as the pair have successfully stolen the rear driver's side wheel and the truck falls off the jack. This is the start of an amusing pattern, as thirty seconds later it falls off the jack again as the guy is going after the front wheel. We're also treated to a crystal-clear close up of his face—man, that is some impressive resolution. Also, they manage to set off the car alarm at 2:50.
Two minutes later, they're going after the front passenger wheel when the camera dramatically pans up to show a police cruiser entering the lot. The pair realizes what's happening far too late, taking off on foot and leaving their two newly-acquired wheels in the back seat of the Pontiac as the cops approach. The officers quickly realize dumb and dumber have fled and set out with backup at 5:25 to investigate.
In a final flourish, the camera moves left at 6:40 to show the cops using their spotlights to search a nearby marsh, and we finally see one of the thieves being led out of the muck in handcuffs in the video's final frame.
In real time, the pair were on the lot for a little less than 20 minutes before authorities broke up the party. You'd think that would be enough time to grab a few wheels, but not for this hapless crew.