On ABC’s hit Shonda Rhimes show How To Get Away with Murder, many people are indeed murdered. But the Shondaland show features a four-wheeled cast that's less than stellar for living up to the title. Among the vehicles to receive screen-time, a second-gen Toyota Prius, a third-gen Prius, a Mercedes-Benz CLA 250, and a 2015 Subaru Legacy. None of which scream speedy and capable body transporter. Given that crop, it’s a wonder that these characters ever actually get away from anything. It got us thinking what cars would be the most likely to help you get away with murder? You'd need something that blends in, so as not to arouse suspicions, yet still with ample power, in case you need to haul ass along with that dead body. What fits that bill? Below, our top choices. But, y'know, don't actually murder anyone, please.
2006 Range Rover
This is one set of wheels the show got right. In the first season, a body is transported using a third-gen Rover and – spoiler alert – the perpetrators get away with it. The biggest benefit of the Range Rover is its 34.5 cubic feet of cargo space, accessible without putting the seat down. The split tailgate would also make loading a body much easier. The Range Rover isn’t supremely quick, given that the top model only produces 400 horsepower from a 4.4-liter V8 engine, but that's plenty fast, and it has adequate off road capabilities. Just don’t expect to lead the cops on a lengthy chase. This Rover only manages 14 mpg in the city.
2014 Cadillac CTS-V Wagon
Look, this is basically a 556-horsepower hearse. It’s got a whopping 58 cubic feet of cargo space with the seats flat. Even with the seats up, those 25.4 cubic feet are more than enough to hold your victims. Like the Range Rover, this supercharged wagon won’t work for long car chases, since the 6.2-liter V8 only gets about 13 mpg in automatic configuration. On the upside, this 4,450-pound wolf in sheep's clothing should have you pulling away from the cops fast enough to make a clean getaway. A police-spec Crown Vic can’t match a sub-four 0-60 sprint.
2015 (white) Toyota Camry
This one is all about stealth. A Toyota Camry isn’t particularly fast (a 2015 Camry SE will do 0-60 in 7 seconds), nor is it particularly large, having a modest 15.4 cubic feet of cargo space, but the Toyota Camry has been the most popular car in America for more than 10 years. Since white is the most popular car color in the U.S., an all-points bulletin for a white Camry would be about as useful as issuing one for a needle in a haystack. Just cram your body in the trunk and obey the speed limits, and you'll fly under the radar indefinitely.
Chevrolet Express Cargo Van
A windowless work van is all about body quantity. If we imagine each body is a box that is 1.5 feet wide, 1.5 feet tall and 6 feet long, each descendant occupies a scant 13.5 cubic feet of space. Thanks to 270 cubic feet of open space, the average Chevy Express can hold over 20 bodies. The fairly inconspicuous nature of vans is merely an added bonus, and if you opt for the 2500 Work Van edition, you're getting a hefty 6.0-liter V8, which will run forever without many problems. Sounds perfect for a long trip to a remote desert.
1965 through 1984 Cadillac DeVille
There is a reason these three generations of American luxury car are the gold standard in old school gangster lore. Reservoir Dogs, Donnie Brasco, A Bronx Tale and, the crème de la crème, Goodfellas all make use of the generally badass Cadillac DeVille. These land yachts have trunks that go on for days. You could whack an entire opposing crime syndicate or a small city, stuff all the bodies in and still have a little room left over. It’s a classic Mafia car for classic Mafia misdoings, but bland enough to not turn a single eye when it wallows around a corner.
2016 Ford Explorer
The benefits of the Ford Explorer as a body disposal vehicle are threefold. First, the size. The Explorer has 80.7 cubic feet of cargo space when you drop the seats. Second, the Explorer gets 27 miles per gallon on the highway. That’s more than enough for an extended getaway to a nice, remote location, given the car’s 18.6-gallon fuel tank. Third, this is a mom mobile. The Ford Explorer is very non-threatening and wouldn’t look out of place in a park or at soccer practice or near that marsh you've selected as a burial ground.
2017 Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk
The Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk has a lot going for it in terms of a murder-machine. It’s got 36.3 cubic feet of trunk space, 68.3 with the seats down. Thanks to a 6.2-liter 707 horsepower Hellcat engine, this puppy will use it's 650 pound-feet of twist to scream to 60 in less than four seconds. It’s way faster than the SRT (pictured above) and even has off road capabilities for when you need to back up to that shallow grave. And it even has a power liftgate to make loading bodies easier. It’s less flashy than a Ferrari FF or even the CTS-V, though it's a little loud when you're romping on it. However, be thrifty with the throttle and you can sneak around without rousing the dead. That's a good thing, especially if the dead is what you're hauling.