Enterprising yachting company MC Yacht—its owners’ refrain, Don’t touch this—just announced something overwhelming: the Ocea Nemo Sport Utility Yacht, a megayacht incorporating the best aspects of a water park into its hull. (Even for a world that heartily embraced the Cronut, that’s a novel combo.)
After all, yachts are for billionaires who enjoy having every need attended to by courteous, white-suited staffers. Water parks welcome anyone who can find $19.99 between the couch cushions, where the only staff consists of stoned-out high schoolers serving as "lifeguards." Still, both trade in the joys of swim trunks, water, and sun, and even the stuffiest of the super-rich aren’t immune to the thrills of the water slide. Additionally, because one should never settle for mixing only two metaphors, the company is also calling the Ocea Nemo the “SUV of Yachts.” Don’t most ultra-luxury boats ( which are vehicles) already combine “sport” and “utility”?
Even setting the gimmickry of the yacht-board water park aside, the Ocea Nemo Sport Utility Yacht concept does offer some impressive features. The craft is 144 feet long—but made of aluminum, to add lightness. Within that silvery structure sits a large pool and adjacent beach club, a Jacuzzi, a full gym, and a master bedroom that clocks in at twice the size of a Manhattan studio apartment. The Ocea Nemo will also provide customers the option of adding 25 different big-boy toys; optional equipment includes sailboats, submarines, ski boats, amphibious ATVs, trampolines, hovercraft, seaplanes, hot-air balloons, snowmobiles, and helicopters. Basically, all the kit your average playboy millionaire would have at his vacation home. Our favorite? The optional rock-climbing wall, which can be cantilevered out over the water. That way, climbers could scramble around unharnessed, their falls ending harmlessly in a refreshing ocean dip.
In terms of “utility,” the Ocea Nemo will have a 4,000-mile range and a cruising speed of 12 knots. The price? Less than €20 million—at least, before you spring for the hovercraft.