Most days of the year, the sight of a New York City cabbie wearing naught but a “come hither” expression is reason to take the train. But today, we rejoice in a deluge of nipples run amok, tummies let loose, and highly pixelated genitalia resting on a Toyota Camry in classic yellow: Shannon and Phillip Kirkman’s annual NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar is available. The photos are fantastic, the poses, seductive. These men, and a single woman, will be more than happy to take you (pin-)uptown, pronto.
For three years now, the Kirkmans have shot this comedic take on the classic beefcake calendar, available online for a breathtakingly reasonable $14.99. A portion of the proceeds benefit University Settlement, a organization that provides social services to low-income and immigrant families. So, indulge, you charitable voyeur. These tits are out for a good cause.
The previous two calendars have been far from tame, but the photographs herein push the boundaries of good taste to where… they probably should be, considering the context. The majority of the heat arrives in the usually temperate months of October and May. Mr. October leans luxuriously back on taxicab, two autumn leaves chastely covering his nipples, a bowtie on the neck for style, Bluetooth receiver in his ear, which right about now is undoubtedly fielding more calls than its hearing-aid battery can handle. Mr. May, fully embracing spring as a time of fertility rites and bacchanalian rejoicing, has unleashed his very medallion for the world to see, with a balls-to-the-bumper pose the photographer termed “Junk in the Trunk.” Were you to ride, we’re sure the model would waive the baggage-handling surcharge.
In the car-for-hire wars, Uber is steamrolling traditional taxis with its slick app and only the occasional murder. But in the battle for our hearts and loins? The legions of NYC taxi drivers willing to bare their bodies win by a New York long block. Watch out, Dad Bod: There’s a hot, new alternative physicality in town.