Game of Thrones Alert: Lord Lannister’s Mustang Can Be Yours
This pony demands utter and complete obedience. And about 45 grand.
“Just imagine driving the car once owned by Tywin Lannister,” says Classic Car Auctions, which has consigned actor Charles Dance’s Ford Mustang for its sale in England on Dec. 5, with a preauction estimate ranging from roughly $37,500 to $45,000. Unlike many celebrity cars, this really was Lord Lannister’s daily driver for over a decade, until he took it off the road for a restoration in 2013. (Charles Dance would like you to know that in addition to his role on Game of Thrones, he’s been acting for 40 years. He was Sardo Numspa in The Golden Child, fer chrissakes.)
But how would one drive the the car of Lord Lannister, the richest man in the Seven Kingdoms and the power behind the Iron Throne? He may well not have a chauffeur, although in 1900s motoring style he would have an in-house mechanic so he wouldn’t have to be bothered with things like “turning the key.” Surely he’d know how, the knowledge having been beaten into him by his father along with the correct spark plug gaps. Those days, alas, are long past.
With utter disdain for the common people, one would have a vanguard force of Hummer H2s out in front of the Mustang, running down anyone who dared step in the way. Just to ensure a pedestrian didn’t rise up again as a White Walker, you’d run them over again a couple of times. You would, however, pay all your parking tickets. And later seize the parking and transit authority and have all the employees drowned, replacing them with more loyal ones.
Having all proved themselves unworthy in some way, your children would change the Mustang’s oil and lube the chassis, but they’d never be allowed to touch the body or sit inside. Your will would stipulate that the victor in a round-robin fight to the death could have it, but surely the victor would burn it out of spite. He’d eventually realize his error, and restore it. Yet your angry ghost would forever ensure the tires ran about 3 psi low, no matter how many sacrifices made to the Red God nor cans of Slime employed. Vengeance is sweet, and so is this Mustang, and it demands reverence.