‘Chuck Snowriss’ and More: America’s Best Snowplow Names
Pick your favorites from winners like “Aaron Brr, Sir” and “Scoop Dogg.”
It was just over a month ago that America lost one of its Golden Girls, the wonderful Betty White. Saucy and hilarious, Ms. White was revered worldwide, and fans are paying their respects in numerous ways. One of the most unusual (but no less heartfelt) tributes is the inclusion of her name as part of a cheeky set of monikers for plow trucks across the country. A rig in Michigan was dubbed “Betty Whiteout” last month after a statewide contest to name its fleet of 300+ snowplows. And now it seems that Minnesota is paying its respects by calling one of its plow trucks by the same name.
Minnesota’s annual contest drew a whopping 22,000 name ideas, and 60,000 votes determined the top choices. Betty Whiteout was a runaway favorite, garnering more than double the number of votes as the next-best name on the list, Ctrl Salt Delete (which is also pretty clever). The other eight top vote-earners were The Big Leplowski, Plowasaurus Rex, Scoop Dogg, Blizzard of Oz, No More Mr. Ice Guy, and Edward Blizzardhands.
It didn't escape my attention that there are some spectacular pop culture references here. Ozzy Osbourne’s Blizzard of Ozz album was released in 1980, and “No More Mr. Ice Guy” is a nod to Alice Cooper’s 1973 hit. One year after Megadeth’s growly 1989 remake of “Mr. Nice Guy,” Johnny Depp played the titular Edward Scissorhands in the 1990 Tim Burton movie.
Not to be outdone, Olathe, Kansas held a contest of its own to name the city's 15 plow trucks. Three Star Wars references made the cut with Darth Blader, Snowbi-Wan Kenobi, and Luke Snowalker. (Nobody named a plow “I Love You…I Snow” after Princess Leia and Han Solo? Come on.) I’m partial to the music-themed Sleetwood Mac, Sir Plows-a-Lot (I like big trucks and I cannot lie), and Sled Zeppelin.
But let’s talk about a few of the names that aren’t getting as much press, because these deserve some love and maybe some other wintry city will snap one up for one of its own plow trucks. Check these out:
- Lord Coldemort (You must be a Muggle if you don’t like this one)
- License to Chill (I like my roads shaken, not stirred)
- William Scrape-speare (Classic)
- Everyday I’m Shovelin’ (And now you’ll have LMFAO's "Party Rock Anthem" stuck in your head too)
- Scoopy Doo & Scraper Too (SCOOPY. DOO. Love it.)
- Edgar Allen Snow (Quoth the raven, "Nevermore plowing")
- Aaron Brr, Sir (Hamilton fans, represent)
Here in Austin, Texas, I haven't seen a single plow truck anywhere; when it snows here, the whole city just shuts down. We're going to have to start naming cranes instead, with all of the building going on in this town. Do you think Lil Nas X would mind if we use "Call Me By Your Crane?" Let's do it.
What would you name your own personal snow plow? Tell us in the comments and if you have a tip, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.