Why Can’t Jeremy Clarkson Name His New Show?

Our vote remains, as ever, with “Skid Marks.”

Top Gear was a perfect name for the world’s preeminent motoring TV show. Then, Jeremy Clarkson went off and punched some staffer in the face and ruined everything. Now that the dust has settled and Jezza and Richard Hammond and James May have moved in at Amazon for their new season—which they’ve already started filming—they vented earlier this month that the hardest part has been coming up with a new name.

While Clarkson said they debated crowdsourcing the naming process as a competition, they resisted due to the RRS Boaty McBoatface debacle. (Smart: “Cary McCarface” would win by a landslide.) That leaves them to come up with their own title—challenging, given all the legal restrictions swirling around the new program. They can’t use anything with “Gear,” because BBC would have a field day in court, and many of their internal brainstorms have resulted in hilariously juvenile names, befitting the notoriously juvenile hosts. Those include: “Skid Marks, Three C*** Driving Along, Speedwolf, Tripod, and Auto-mates.”

After Clarkson’s Sunday Times column appeared, in which he vented about the arduous process, the glorious denizens of the Internet took over and made a slew of suggestions via social media, few of which are suitable to to list here. For their part, Clarkson, Captain Slow and Hamster have remained mum, leaving us to ponder if they’ve reached a decision. If so, share with the group, gents. If not, we’ve got some suggestions. (Amazon execs: feel free to slide us a producer credit if any of these resonate.) We’ll take your own working titles down in the comments.

Punch Buggies

Prime Knobs

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The Bolshy Yarblockos

Op-tay Ear-gay

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Bottom Cog

Floppy Paddles


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