Allegedly Drunk, Naked Man Crashes While Having Sex on Mountain Road

You think texting while driving is distracting, hold my beer

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Be responsible out there people. If you’re going to drink, don’t drive. if you’re going to drive, put some clothes on. Some guy in Washington state failed on multiple counts of common sense last week. Police allege that a drunk, naked man crashed a car on Wednesday while he was having sex with a woman at the wheel. The cherry on top, there was a baby in the backseat.

According to The Tacoma News Tribune, the driver missed a curve in the road as he was being straddled by the mother of the 3-month old riding in the back. He ended up crashing directly into a tree on state Route 7 near La Grande, Washington. The crash happened at about 6pm Pacific Time in the 46800 block of Mountain Highway East.

Lucky for this loser and his classy lady, the infant was uninjured during the crash. The same can’t be said for two dunces up front. The woman was hospitalized with several broken bones including a broken pelvis. As for Romeo, he ended up with a broken wrist, was immediately arrested and taken to Pierce County Jail on suspicion of felony driving under the influence, vehicular assault and child endangerment. This isn’t a one-off event for the driver either. He has been convicted of DUI on three separate occasions in the past. If you’ve been convicted of DUI three times, I think it’s safe to say you’ve probably gotten away with it a few more times as well.

Witnesses on the scene told cops that they saw both the man and the woman hop out the car naked immediately following the crash. I know that stuff happens when you party naked but at least have the common decency to not put a 3-month-old at risk while you’re living out your death wish.