Every Shadetree Mechanic Should Have a Lightsaber in the Garage

David Patterson demonstrates why a lightsaber is even more versatile than Jeremy Clarkson’s hammer.

byJustin Hughes| UPDATED Mar 4, 2019 12:36 AM
Every Shadetree Mechanic Should Have a Lightsaber in the Garage

Star Wars: The Last Jedi is finally in theaters and it will encourage children everywhere to recreate their own lightsaber battles based on the ones in the movie. David Patterson, aka ThatDudeinBlue, has taken the opportunity to show us a new range of practical uses for a lightsaber such as working on your car.

After showing his friends the "David-proof bash bars" he welds together with his new tool, he "helps" them with various tasks and projects in much the same way that your cat "helps" you read the newspaper by lying down on top of it. His friend Ryan struggles to remove one last stubborn bolt from a project car's fender, and just can't seem to get it. Enter Patterson and his lightsaber, who removes the fender with a single strike. He uses the same method to pull a steering wheel and close the shop's garage door. 

Lightsabers aren't just for cutting car parts (or your family's hands off). In The Phantom Menace, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi use their lightsabers to heat up and cut through a metal blast door. Patterson applies a similar Jedi tactic by turning on a propane heater. Rather than use the ignitor that only works a fraction of the time, he inserts his lightsaber into the heater, which quickly ignites. A lightsaber is useful in many other ways as well, such as welding, or making a flamethrower by spraying brake cleaner across it.

I can think of all kinds of good uses for a lightsaber in my garage, particularly since I live in the rust belt and often work on car parts molecularly bonded together with rust. I'll have to take a look at Amazon and pick up a lightsaber of my own just like Patterson's. And a speeder bike.