Please, Behold Britain’s Biggest Bull

He also, of course, produces Britain’s biggest… hoofprints.

Nick Obank / Barcroft Media / Getty Images

If there’s an adjective most Americans associate with the Britain, it’s wee. The whole sovereign entity—England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland—is a touch smaller than Michigan and filled with wee-toward-twee things like little cheeses, corgis and Daniel Radcliffe.

Also, Mini Coopers, like this second-generation model. That’s why it’s so odd to find such a beast as Field Marshall, a 3,600-lb bull standing 6 feet 5 inches at the shoulder, in that island nation. At 10 years old, Field Marshall lives in Weston-Super-Mare, Somerset, as a tourist attraction, and counts at least one human friend, seven-year-old Sophie Bowden, his owner’s daughter. Should we all pursue friends weighing 50 times our weight with equivalent gusto.

Speaking beyond our authority, we’d like to invite Field Marshall to spend the rest of his days in Texas, a nation of sorts where most everything shares his dimensions. For the first time, he might fit in.