Porn at Work Legal, Thanks to Fiat

Inveterate masturbators and office perverts of the world, the Italian Supreme Court has your back.

Because sometimes national stereotypes are true, an Italian court has ruled that a Fiat employee fired for watching pornography at work was wrongfully terminated. Inveterate masturbators and office perverts of the world, know this: The Italian Supreme Court is there for you. Back in 2010, a worker at Fiat’s manufacturing plant near Palermo was convicted of watching porn at work and found guilty by a Termini court. Since then, the fellow has been appealing his case. The math works out to half a decade of railing against what seems an altogether reasonable termination. But who are we to judge? That unfit-for-a-GoFundMe Campaign campaign (“Please, donate to this man wrongfully terminated for breast-ogling at work…”) paid off.

According to court documents, the employee, given the all-too-perfect alias of “Giuseppe Z,” was found watching pornography in an electricity supply room on the main factory floor. When searched, his locker yielded two other DVDs. The position of the Supreme Court is that a worker is free to do as he pleases during a lunch break. To quote, one judge noted that Giuseppe had “enjoyed just a glimpse of the film during a meal break” and that such an abbreviated viewing couldn’t have interfered with his work shift. Thus, the court delivered victory to hardworking Giuseppes, Luigis and Salvatores everywhere who, between affixing bumpers to Fiat 500s, enjoy the oeuvre of Jeff Koons’ ex-wife, Cicciolina.

In a different case from the same factory, a Fiat worker’s termination due to pot-smoking on the job was upheld. So, Italian workers intent on living the good life, remember: stick to sex, not drugs. Who will be first to test the Montepulciano policy?