Bringing Kanye and Wiz Khalifa’s Twitter Feud to the Garage
Stop slut-shaming Amber Rose; start shit-talking each other’s cars.
Twitter feuds: They happen. And, for some reason, the world pays attention. The most recent social media tiff pits Kanye West against Wiz Khalifa and stems from some comments the latter made about Yeezy’s decision to change, last minute, the name of his upcoming album. What briefly was Swish is now Waves, and Khalifa says that’s offensive to lesser-known rapper Max B, who popularized “the wave” with his lo-fi, harmony-heavy work—until he was sentenced to 75 years in prison for armed robbery, kidnapping, assault and murder. The world of hip-hop is dynamic, no?
In response to that criticism, Kanye West unleashed a (now deleted) barrage of Tweets about Wiz and his ex-girlfriend, Amber Rose, who is also Khalifa’s ex-wife. Twitter feuds are inane, and slut-shaming is always uncool. For those reasons, we’d like to turn the vitriol towards objects that can take it: The cars. Each artist wields an arsenal of pricy metal, but whose fleet reigns supreme?
ROUND ONE: Mercedes SLR 722 (West) vs. Dodge Challenger SRT8 (Wiz)
The Dodge Challenger is one of the slickest coupes around. In SRT8 trim, it packs a 6.4-liter Hemi V-8 whose sound and fury bring more meaning to that phrase than Faulkner or the Bible. Still, the 722 McLaren—a supercharged, V-8 teutonic roadste—is one of the rarest beasts in the supercar world.
ROUND TWO: Lamborghini Aventador (West) vs. Porsche 911 Carrera S (Wiz)
The Aventador is so, so imposing, much like Kanye would be were he tall. The Porsche 911 is much more demure. And though it’s a class below the Lambo in price and speed, it’s the better steer.
ROUND THREE: Aston Martin DB9 (West) vs. 1968 Chevrolet Camaro SS (Wiz)
These two cars, separated by four decades of engineering progress, offer about the same level build quality. They’re both style icons and boast exhaust tones so tuneful, they belong as a sample on a hip-hop track. At this point, they’re worth about the same, too. Surprising for such an unlikely duo, but this one's too close to call.
Winner: Neither. You’re both idiots. Nobody cares. Go make some music.
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