---
title: "How to Get Dumped and Crash a BMW 5 Series"
description: "A teenager, an old Bimmer sedan and a priceless lesson about baggage."
date: "2015-09-10"
modified: "2019-02-15"
authors:
  - name: "Max Prince"
    link: "https://www.thedrive.com/authors/max-prince"
url: "https://www.thedrive.com/vintage/208/how-to-get-dumped-and-crash-a-bmw-5-series"
categories:
  - "BMW News"
  - "Culture"
  - "News"
  - "News by Brand"
tags:
  - "5 Series"
  - "BMW"
  - "Crash Diaries"
  - "luxury"
  - "sedan"
---

# How to Get Dumped and Crash a BMW 5 Series

![](<https://www.thedrive.com/wp-content/uploads/images-by-url-td/content/archive-images/maxprince_crashdiary_v4.jpg>)
*\<em\>www.thedrive.com</em>*

**The Car**: 1997 BMW 540i

**The Crash**: Eighteen-year-olds generally cannot afford a BMW M5. Some, however, might see their way into a haggard, high-mileage BMW 5 Series. The car had enough dashboard warning lights to illuminate a black hole. Also, a V8 and manual gearbox. I emptied my savings account and limped it home. The peeling window tint and aftermarket taillights made me look like a Triad cocaine dealer.

That was autumn. Just before winter, I had a drag-out argument with my then-girlfriend, mostly because she didn’t realize we were [dating](<https://coffeemeetsbagel.com/>). On the drive home, I listened to Tom Waits and thought about buying a piano. Unrequited love is a bitch. So are dump trucks.

To be clear, I didn’t hit the thing; I just failed to realize it’d dropped gate and spilled loose gravel across a 90-degree right-hand turn. The car yawed over surface change, jackknifed and climbed a curb. The damage wasn’t so bad, actually: a collapsed rocker, tweaked front control arm and two bent wheels. Knife twist? Textbooks and boxes of spare parts convinced BMW’s seat sensors that three passengers were present. Eighteen-year-olds cannot afford to replace a half-dozen erroneously deployed airbags, either.

**The Damage**: A write-off—for both car and ego.

**The Moral**: Put your luggage in the trunk; it’s O.K. to cry listening to [*Blue Valentine*](<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6JTnjCVETw>).

### Author social links  
[Twitter](<https://twitter.com/themaxprince>)