This Is Dartz’s New 1,600-HP SUV Aberration, the Prombron Black Alligator

For the person in your life who needs a Kevlar/titanium-bodied Mercedes-Benz GLS-Class with a gem-encrusted steering wheel. 

Dartz

The mad Latvian customizers at Dartz have developed something of a reputation for conspicuous consumption over their years of building gargantuan sport-utility vehicles. (Best example: the whole “whale penis leather” debacle of 2009.) But this is the era of Trump, after all; excess is in, and too much is just right. So for the new Prombron Black Alligator, Dartz seems to have gone whole-hog crazy...as is tradition.

According to both Top Gear and Motor Authority, the Black Alligator is based on the Mercedes-Benz GLS-Class—but you’d never know it from the car’s rhinocerine front end. The basic look of the truck’s face is actually somewhat attractive, in an elemental off-roader sort of way. But because Dartz can’t let anything simple stand on its own, it’s been accessorized with more ridges, intakes, and lights than an F-117.

The only pieces of the face that’s recognizable from elsewhere in the automotive world is the headlights, but oddly enough, they appear to be the same units used by the Jeep Grand Cherokee. Perhaps Dartz chose them because the FCA units resemblance the units from the Rolls Royce Ghost; perhaps Dartz used them because a big box of Jeep headlights fell off a truck on the way from Milan to Minsk.  Not that most people will notice the lights, anyway—not with the seemingly Desert Eagle-inspired paint jobs the company is showing off for the vehicle, such as gloss black, desert camo, and of course, solid gold.

Beneath those paint jobs lies a customized body is reportedly made of a mix of Kevlar and carbon fiber, with a Kevlar-coated titanium skin available as an option for those who need a little bit of bulletproof protection. Inside, the Black Alligator offers a choice of trim materials from across the animal kingdom, including python, stingray, ostrich, and, obviously, alligator.  The steering wheel seems to be based around the familiar Mercedes unit, but as you can see in the photo gallery below, it’s been reupholstered, outfitted with 14-karat gold buttons, and given a white gold badge that has 292 diamonds and a pair of rubies embedded within. And the seats appear to come with a version of The Expendables logo that Sly Stallone rejected for being too busy.

Of course, all this finery adds weight, so Dartz is offering the Black Alligator in 850-horsepower, 1,100-hp, and 1,600-hp states of tune. We have no idea what sort of warranty Dartz offers on its motors, but given the cars’ seven-figure price tags, we’re assuming the average owner has at least a few dozen other cars to drive should their Black Alligator go belly-up.