You Won't Believe How Fast This Guy Chops a Car in Half with an Axe

It's enough to make the Hulk jealous.

Car Chop in Half

HELLO, PUNY HUMANS. THIS IS HULK.

YES, BYLINE SAY WILL SABEL COURTNEY. BUT HULK THROW WILL SABEL COURTNEY INTO EAST RIVER SO HULK CAN WRITE ABOUT VIDEO INSTEAD.

BECAUSE HULK FEELING BLUE. WELL, MORE LIKE BLUE-GREEN, REALLY.

HULK FEELING UNNEEDED THESE DAYS. FIRST, HULK'S FRIENDS IRON MAN AND CAPTAIN AMERICA MAKE MOVIE WITHOUT HULK FEATURING ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT STAIR CAR, AND MOVIE MAKE MORE THAN $1 BILLION IN THREE WEEKS. AND NOW, PUNY HUMANS IN SPAIN* ARE TEARING CARS IN TWO WITH AXES.

SEE, TEARING CARS IN TWO WITH BARE HANDS WAS ALWAYS HULK'S SORT OF THING. REMEMBER HOW HULK USE PIECES AS BRASS KNUCKLES DURING CLIMAX OF UNDERRATED 2008 MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE FILM THE INCREDIBLE HULK? HULK LOVED THAT PART. AND TEARING CARS APART WITH BARE HANDS ALWAYS MADE HULK FEEL BETTER ABOUT SHARING A BODY WITH EXTRA-PUNY BANNER.

BUT NOW HULK SEES THIS PUNY HUMAN CHOP A CAR IN TWO WITH HIS BARE HANDS IN LESS THAN THREE MINUTES. WHICH MAKES HULK WONDER...COULD BANNER DO THAT? IF BANNER COULD CHOP CAR IN TWO, THAN HULK WOULD NO LONGER ENJOY RIPPING CARS APART AS MUCH. WHICH WOULD MAKE HULK VERY SAD.

AT LEAST HULK CAN TAKE SOLACE IN KNOWLEDGE THAT PUNY HUMANS STILL REQUIRE SIMPLE TOOLS TO SMASH AS GOOD AS HULK.