New Jersey Police Searching for Driveway-Defecating Car Burglar
Authorities are on the lookout for a man accused of dropping a deuce in a driveway and attempting to break into several cars.
Law enforcement of North Plainfield, New Jersey is looking for information about a suspect connected to multiple attempted vehicle burglaries, one successful, and one public pooping.
Footage of the suspect wearing a hoodie, backpack, and fanny pack was captured by the home security system of one of the victims and shared by the North Plainfield Police Department via Facebook. According to authorities, the security footage depicts the subject doing his duty on a driveway around 2:27 a.m. on Sunday, May 27, though video of the act itself was not published. Afterward, the suspect attempted to force entry into multiple vehicles and was eventually successful, managing to get into a car around 3:42 a.m. the same morning.
Authorities request that anyone with information on the suspect shares it. When contacted by The Drive, the North Plainfield Police Department declined to provide an update to the story.
Unsavory news of this sort has made the papers several times thus far in 2018. Earlier this year, a flight from Chicago to Hong Kong was grounded after a passenger soiled multiple of the plane's lavatories with their own feces, wiping it "everywhere" inside the bathrooms. Down south, and on the ground, a train traveling with ten million pounds of human waste spent more than two months cooped up in an Alabama rail yard and was the butt of the joke of many an online news outlet.
As unpleasant as it may have been, we almost wish we had the full video of the New Jersey burglar—with commentary, of course. Humor's a good way to deal with shock, no?
- RELATEDTrain Hauling 5,000 Tons of Poop Cleared for Movement After Three MonthsThe legal logjam has been resolved after two months, even though the neighboring county never softened up.READ NOW
- RELATEDThieves Attempt Smash-and-Grab Burglary of Porsche Dealership, Damage $210,000 911 TurboThe key word is "attempt" here.READ NOW
- RELATEDTesla on Autopilot Crashes into Parked California Police CruiserLaguna Beach Police Department claims that the cruiser is a total loss.READ NOW
- RELATEDPoop-Smearing Traveler Prompts United Plane to Make Unplanned Stop in AlaskaMan's actions on flight from Chicago to Hong Kong take the meaning of the phrase "disruptive passenger" to a whole new level.READ NOW
- RELATEDPoop Truck Overturns In CincinnatiThe California Woods area of Cincinnati was smelling a little worse than normal this week.READ NOW