Florida Man Arrested for Pitching Alligator Into Drive-Thru Window

Because Florida.

Alligaotor Drive Thru
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In today’s installment of “Vaguely Vehicular News That Could Only Come From Florida”: A man has been arrested for lobbing a three-and-a-half foot alligator into a Wendy’s drive-thru window.

Joshua James, 23, is charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and unlawful possession and transportation of an alligator. Because that’s what happens when find an  alligator on the side of the highway, put it in your truck, motor on over to Wendy’s and hurl the damn thing into a drive-thru window. Being a criminal mastermind, James purchased a soda with his credit card before delivering his scaly payload, enabling the Florida Fish and Wildlife Department to track him down. The incident occurred in Royal Palm Beach last October; U.S. Marshals took James into custody February 8.

“He’s a prankster. He does stuff like this because he thinks it’s funny,” James’s mother Linda told CNN, who added that she believes her son knew one of the employees at the Wendy’s.

“He’s not a bad kid,” she added, “He’s a stupid kid.”

The alligator, according to law enforcement officials, was captured on the night of the incident and released into a nearby canal, presumably after being pacified with Wendy’s new “4 for $4” meal. Under Florida law, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon is a third-degree felony that can incur up to five years in prison. Possessing an alligator without a license is a much less severe charge. Which, perhaps most importantly, indicates that you can basically get a carry permit for an alligator in Florida.