Russians Are Now Skijoring Behind Trains

Meanwhile, in Moscow...

Youtube.com/Vsevolozhsk

Oh, those wacky Russians. When they’re not scaling abandoned radio towers or dressing up like cartoon characters and beating people up or becoming president and riding horses while shirtless they are, apparently, lassoing trains outside of St. Petersburg and being towed behind them on skis.

Of course, you can’t do something as manic as Russian rail skijoring without some serious prep work. You need a good wingman willing to climb onto the back of the train beforehand. You need a sturdy rope capable of holding you at speeds of at least, oh, based on that footage, at least 30 mph. And you’re going to need the sense to know when to let go so you don’t wipe out and slam head-first into a steel railway track.

Sadly, the man in this video only had two of those things.

Okay, I’m sorry. I’m being a tad dickish about this. Honestly, it’s just out of jealousy. We’ve barely had a flake of snow in New York City this year. And even when it does snow, we don’t have the chance to do something this batshit-awesome. Nowadays, on the rare occasion that global weirding offers up a chance for a massive dump of the other white powder, the city bans everyone from even going outside—and shuts down all the trains.

That said, there is hope: The massive nor’easter bearing down on the East Coast this weekend may bring NYC up to a foot of snow. Maybe we’ll bust out that Ford Edge we’ve got sitting outside the office this weekend and do a little skijoring ourselves, NYC style.