Mercedes-Benz G65 AMG: The Stats They Won’t Tell You

What you really want to know about Benz’s ultimate Geländewagen.

When you have lusted after the G-Series Mercedes-Benz for more than a decade and are finally handed the keys to the supreme model in the range, a 2016 G65 AMG, you drop into the Affalterbach-embossed seats with some high, perhaps unrealistic, expectations. Meeting your heroes is a dangerous endeavor, as they might tumble off the pedestal upon which you’ve placed them. However, feelings and emotions are rarely quantitative, and often unrelatable and easily dismissed. Hard integers speak for themselves. Thus, a numerical summary of Merc’s boxy staple.

2016 Mercedes-Benz G65 AMG

Price: $223,575

Power Plant: 6-liter AMG V-12

Included Turbochargers: 2

Horses Harnessed: 621

Torques Produced: 738 lb-ft

Gears: 7

Curb Weight: 6,250 lbs

0-60 MPH: 5.2 seconds

Average MPG: 9

Gas Stations You’ll Visit in Three Days: 6

Percentage of Gas Station Attendants Who Compliment the Car: 100

Estimated Overage in Annual Fuel Costs Compared to Average New Vehicle: $11,500

Cupholders in the Front That Don’t Use a Net: 0

Cupholders in the Front That Do Use a Net: 1

Windows That Go Down Automatically: 2

Windows That Go Up Automatically: 0

Amount of Time You’ll Hypothesize About Rich People Employing Someone to Solely Raise Their Windows and Hold Their Beverages: 6 minutes

Heated Seats: 4

Cooled Seats: 2

Comfortable Seats: 0

Top Speed (limited): 143 mph

Top Speed You Feel the Chassis Can Handle in a Straight Line: ~110 mph

Top Speed You Feel the Chassis Can Carry Into a Turn: 35 mph

Speed Above Which You Talk Louder to Compensate at Highway Speeds for Cabin Noise: 70 mph

Times Your Mom Remarks That Cars Costing Nearly a Quarter Million Dollars Should Have Vanity Mirrors in the Back Seats: 3

Headrest T.V.s: 2

Independent Differentials: 3

Low-profile Tires: 4

Times Your Brow Furrows Trying to Reconcile the Above Two Stats: 20+

Days It Takes to Grow Accustomed to the Loose Steering: 3

Times You Are Parking, Only to Have a Stranger Offer You a Better Spot: 4

Times You’ll Be Asked What Kind of Jeep This Is: 3

Recurring Questions You’ll Have for the Interior Designers: 5 (Why are the master window controls on the windowsill where the driver’s arm rests? Why isn’t there a touch screen? Why are there physical buttons for functions accessible via the console selector dial? Why do you need carbon fiber in the dash of a three-ton truck? Why isn’t the heated steering wheel toggle easier to access?)

Percentage of Time You’ll Grin Upon Engine Startup: 40

Percentage of Time You’ll Laugh as You Mat the Accelerator: 50

Percentage of Time You’ll Feel the Car Is Going Too Fast, Even Below the Speed Limit: 75

Percentage of Time You’ll Beat Everyone Off the Line: 90

Percentage of Time Everyone Looks at You Like You’re the Richest Man on the Road: 100

Times You Would Feel Comfortable Taking the G65 Off Road: 0