Hero of the Day: Doctor Zaius

Monkey bid’ness.

This guy, who’s wearing a monkey mask while driving. Because, hey, why the hell not? I spotted this wonderful weirdo crossing into New Jersey (naturally) and he gave me a wave. Human hands. (Roddy McDowall?) He then cranked the volume knob on his stereo, started headbanging and sped off. One of the more poetically bizarre moments of my life. Also: a beautiful one. Hero.

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