Please, Look at Hillary Clinton Pretending to Drive an IndyCar

The last time her hands touched a steering wheel, it was attached to thin air.

Joe Raedle/Getty Images

Hillary Clinton, somewhat famously, hasn’t driven a car since 1996. It’s not her fault. Some attribute the frequency with which she is chauffeured to rich lady hauteur—Brooke Astor with a Yale Law degree—but in fact she’s essentially prevented from driving. As the spouse of a former President, Clinton has Secret Service protection for life, and the bodyguards aren’t keen on Rodham putting the hammer down. So the erstwhile Secretary of State can’t helm her sweet custom van.

We imagine the well-travelled, power-loving Hillary wants to do burnouts up and down Chappaqua’s King Street in American-made (UAW endorsement, natch), rear-drive sheet metal. It is our true belief that Hill Would Love to Chill on the bumper of a powerful V-8 coupe outside the Mt. Kisco Ben & Jerry’s, two scoops of Chubby Hubby melting as she lectures the kids of NAFTA, the Arab Spring and intricacies therein.

But living life at the top echelon of public service won’t allow such tomfoolery. That’s why Hillary gets her kicks where she can. Fending off a relentless barrage of right-wing vitriol. Play-acting as a bartender. Volumizing her hair through the strength of pure will. And here in 2006, holding an Indy Car steering wheel at a campaign event. It’s not real, but then neither is a politician’s life.