Baby Zuck Should Have Gone Home in One of These Cars

Max should be swaddled in the safest machinery a billionaire can buy.

Courtesy Mark Zuckerberg/Facebook

When you are driving home the baby of a $45 Billion Man, you want to make sure that the little butterball is safe. The last thing we want to see is Baby Zuck riding home in a Pinto. With safety in mind, The Drive has constructed a list of baby-friendly vehicles that would deliver the Facebook royals home in style.

2016 Volvo XC90

Volvo have always been known as a safety innovator, and the XC90 is just the latest in a long line of fortress-like conveyances. With the IIHS Top Safety Pick Award in hand, the SUV will stylishly ensure Max makes it home on a cloud of Swedish fish.

2009 Hummer H2

With over three tons of steel to its advantage, the Hummer H2 would have to take a herculean hit to rouse Baby Zuck from her little slumber. But if Max feels the need for speed (and with a name like Max, we are assuming she does), then the H2’s roughly 10-second zero-to-60 time isn’t exactly fiber-optic pace.

2015 Mercedes-Benz ML350

Although these puppies can get pricey, Zuck spent $65,000 this morning on baby wipes. Consider the consumer. With front and rear side airbags, curtain airbags and just about every other airbag, the ML350 is a fitting home for Max’s designer car seat. If things get a little hairy and the ML350 senses an impending crash, the Pre-Safe system kicks in, automatically cinching seat belts and rolling up windows.

2015 Subaru Forester

Subaru is not far behind the luxury brands when it comes to safety innovation, so a Forester handily merits its place here. Subaru has long talked up safety, having not shied away from some pretty heavy commercials from time to time. With a 2015 IIHS Top Safety Pick under its belt, the crossover would surely make fast fans of the Zuck clan.

Bulletproof Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG

You can never be too careful when it comes to the mean streets of Silicon Valley. Or too obnoxious. The G63 threads both needles, and when you add bulletproofing, you’re the baddest pater familis on the cul-de-sac.